Awake.

It's just now rounding 5am. I've been up since three with a growling stomach and an itchy nose. I have dental work at 9, and I'm not allowed to eat because they are knocking me out, and I suppose food interferes with my unconsciousness.  Naturally, I'm starving, and the only thing I can think about is how my stomach is growling and I wish I could sleep. Sometimes (like now) I just have to give up on sleep and enjoy a quiet morning alone. 

I don't make time for quiet time anymore. I used to have quiet time almost every day, parked at a dead end street to watch the sun go down, listed to crickets and cicadas, and slap at the mosquitos that tried to eat me alive.  I call it my "alone time", but it was more like "alone with Him" time.  Since getting married, life has just taken over. My mind is a "pay the bills, put away the too-high piles of laundry, finally clean that sticky spilled root beer out of the bottom of the fridge, sort photos, deliver disks, get my 30 minutes of exercise, do I really need that cookie" mess.  I get so consumed with the daily grind that I forget why I do it all. I get so caught up in just getting things done that I don't even pause long enough to enjoy any of it. 

I think God decided I needed time with Him instead of my bed this morning.  I finally dragged my butt out of bed and planted it on the couch under my quilt.  I looked for the remote for a few minutes, planning on watching shake weight infomercials, but it was nowhere to be found, and for that I am now grateful.  The only thing I hear right now is the sound of jeans in the dryer (which probably wont get put up for at least two days), the ticking clock on the wall, and the hum of my refrigerator, which desperately needs to be purged of it's two-week-old pot roast leftovers, and that dang can of root beer that left a sticky mess that I have yet to clean.  But I can take care of that later.

So now, I just sit. 

I love sitting in quiet.  And I love leaving the doors and windows open in the evening.  Lately, I have been opening my patio door wide when I crawl in bed at night so I can smell the air and just listen.  Sure, I hear cars drive by, kids whining, and car alarms honking, (ah, the joys of apartment living), but I hear other things too.  I hear the wind blowing through the pine tree outside my window (wind through pine needles has a sound all of it's own).  I hear the critters finally making their little noises as they come out of their winter hiding.

I remember when I was a kid, I hated going to bed before the sun went down.  But there were those occasions where the sun stayed up way past my bed time, and I (like tonight) had to fight to fall asleep.  I would open my bedroom window that faced the street and watch for my mom to come home from her evening walk with her best friend.  I would listen to the crickets in the bushes outside my window, watch the neighbors water their lawns, and soak in the smell of the damp earth that resulted.  It is just as soothing now as it was back then. 

God has been calling me to stop and be still lately.  I know I need more time with Him.  I need more time to enjoy the things He has given me instead of worrying about them.  I talk to Him, and I listen to Him.  I enjoy the things He has given me.  I thank Him, and cry to Him and always manage to be selfish and ask Him for something more.  I have such a gracious God.  Such a patient God.  Sometimes I feel so "grown-up", but most of the time I still feel like that kid with my nose pressed to the window screen.  I'm just soaking it all up and enjoying the air. 

Spring is near, and it's definitely going to be a season for all that is new.