Another Loss

My heart is aching. I lost both of my grandparents in less than a month. As much as I rejoice that they are together again, and starting their beautiful eternity with their Lord, I can't help but be selfish and want them both back here with me.  Those two were the cornerstone of our family.  If everyone got together, it was at their house. Every Thanksgiving was spent with them, no questions asked.  Those two were so important to this community.  They were both involved with the Boy Scouts and the Gem and Mineral Society.  Those two were a wealth of knowledge, and full of crap at the same time :) I've never seen two people love each other and their family so much either.  Even through so many people divorcing, I could see that it was possible to stay in love with someone for a lifetime. 

I was at the point last night that every time my phone rang, I would cringe, and every time the name "Dad" popped up, I held my breath. Last night when he called, it was the news I'd been waiting for and dreading. My big strong, hard headed, tough skinned Papa had passed.  Thankfully, I was surrounded by people I love, and people that he loved. 

I didn't fall asleep until about 5:00 this morning. I did the same exact thing I did after my Meme died. I re-played everything that has happened in the past few weeks, days, and especially hours.  And the dreams I have been having are keeping me up as well.  I can't even remember them. They are just so realistic and random, and I can't make out what is real or a dream anymore.  I hate that I have absolutley no motivation to get any work done.  I sit at my laptop and just stare at photoshop, then close it again. 

Little art projects have been my escape lately.  I made a few bibs to give to my "little brother" and his wife for their baby shower. Then I tried my hand at making felt flowers. I have an idea of what I would like to do with them, but knowing me and my track record, I'll probably make half that I need, then move on to something else.

I just hope I can perk up this week, get back in the swing of things, and move on with life.  Because that's what death is...a part of life.